“i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography
“I want to wear shorts but i didnt shave” the sequel.
(via awesomephilia)
A police dog searches you for weed and pulls it out of your back pocket.. you think ‘fuck’ and start planning your excuse until the dog starts lighting a blunt, gives you a wink and says ‘yo thanks dude’
What?
A police dog searches you for weed and pulls it out of your back pocket.. you think ‘fuck’ and start planning your excuse until the dog starts lighting a blunt, gives you a wink and says ‘yo thanks dude’
(via starllex)
(via awesomephilia)
when I was like 6 i was at church with my family and I asked my mom how much longer until it was over and she said 15 minutes so I counted to 60 fifteen times and it still wasn’t over and that’s why I don’t believe in god
(via harrysthefather)
if you locked your boyfriend and your dog in a trunk for a week and then opened it the boyfriend would probably be pissed but the dog would be happy to see you also known as reasons why dogs are better than boyfriends
(via harrysthefather)
(Source: pleatedjeans, via fullmetalboob)
(Source: spanglishbullshit, via fullmetalboob)
I just realized that “pun intended” is a pun on “unintended” and I’m literally about to gouge my eyes out I’m so angry
This. Changes. Everything.
(via starllex)
